Job Appraisals From Hell!

From an email that was making the rounds: 
For everyone who has ever received or given an evaluation or have been through a professional appraisal, just remember, it could have been  worse! These are actual quotes taken from Federal Government employee  performance evaluations...

1. "Since my last report, this employee  has reached rock- bottom and has started to dig."
2. "I would not  allow this employee to breed."
3. "This employee is really not so much of  a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."
4. "Works well when  under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
7. "He sets low personal  standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
8. "This  employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
9. "This employee  should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."
10. "Got a full  6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."
11. "A  gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
12. "He  doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
13. "He's been working with  glue too much."
14. "He would argue with a signpost."
15. "He  brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
16. "When his IQ  reaches 50, he should sell."
17. "If you see two people talking and one  looks bored, he's the other one."
18. "A photographic memory but with the  lens cover glued on."
19. "A prime candidate for natural  de-selection."
20. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using  it."
21. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't  coming."
22. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out  looking for it."
23. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be  watered twice a week."
24. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts,  you'd get change."
25. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear  the ocean."
26. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other  sperm."
27. "One neuron short of a synapse."
28. "Some drink from  the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
29. "Takes him 2 hours to  watch '60-minutes'."
30. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

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